When you feel like you're drowning...

*From one of my many events last month. Welcome, new hires!*


I've been wanting to blog for awhile, but I was SLAMMED this month! Can you picture God getting stressed out and overwhelmed with needing to respond to an abundance of prayers, set up a bunch of life-changing circumstances, healing this group of people, rescuing that group of people, birthing thousands, bringing thousands more home, and looking Good and Glorious while doing it. I am glad that He is so un-like us. So perfect!




I'm still trying to decide what I want this blog to be about, much like I'm trying to decide who the heck I am! I've loved cooking and experimenting since being married. This past week I made Crockpot Black Bean Soup that was delicious. I also got fancy and made a Lamb Roast in the crockpot and served it with a cilantro/mint dressing, roasted eggplant, squash, mushroom, and potatoes, and cous cous. I failed with the homemade chocolate peanut butter ice cream - too much peanut butter - ick!



My Hubs had to go away for a month (as he does every year for work) and I thought to myself, "This won't be so bad. I'll get some downtime - maybe go to the beach, watch some girly movies, write some music." I was so wrong! Our entertainment business TOOK OFF (and nearly without me). Between a visit with my mom and older sister, hair appointments, and our business, I was a crazy woman! One week in particular, I had printed off 3 recipes I was eager to try, stocked up my fridge...and watched it all go bad. I was SO busy I paid a friend to come over and put my groceries in the crockpot for me. It was insanity. It meant that we had, indeed, arrived. I always thought I'd have been married and had 3 babies by now. I never DREAMED I'd be a business owner. God sends some people to Africa (like my mother who begged to go anywhere but there and He promptly sent her there for 3 years), and God sent me to be a CEO. It is rewarding and I'm sure I'll see the bigger picture eventually, but I've never had a "healthy" view of success (as in I've never seen myself as being successful) and He's completely re-building that perspective. At the same time, He is humbling me in big ways as I am forced to see the areas I am so very weak in and I have no choice but to work on them. When things get hard, it's easy in our American culture, to dodge them. Instead, God is calling me to play football with my weaknesses and tackle them. That is pretty darn tiring! Can I just be a water girl?

I had the opportunity to lead worship with a full band at a church near LA and had a blast. I've been struggling with my ideal for worship music ( a full band ) and not having it for the past 5-6 years. God really revealed to me that it was my heart that needs some work first. It's funny how you can get everything you want in life and it only amplifies the emptiness in our souls - the part that can only be filled by Christ. I'm looking forward to a fresh journey of actively seeking God in spite of whether my feelings tell me He is close or far. As a guest at this church on Sunday, the pastor shared this familiar story from Mark 4.

After a long day of preaching, Jesus told his disciples to set sail across a lake. Jesus fell asleep inside the boat and, soon, a horrible windstorm overcame them. Water began pouring into the boat. The disciples were fearful of drowning and ran down the steps to wake Jesus up saying, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" Jesus walked up to the deck as the waves came crashing in and said, "Quiet! Be still!" And the winds were quiet, and the waves were still. Jesus rebuked his followers saying, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” The disciples were terrified at he power they saw unleashed from the Son of God.





The lesson to be learned is that no matter what trial you are going through, God has ordained it. Just as he called the disciples to sail across the lake, He is calling you to keep walking straight ahead. He has placed you exactly where You are. You see, the devil could certainly be trying to knock you off of the straight and narrow, but God takes ashes and turns them into something beautiful, so even if you falter, He will still pick you up and set you aright. Now, the other thing to remember is that though you can't see the Lord moving, though you might feel like He's silent or sleeping, He is right there with you. You are not alone. At the right moment on His timetable, He will display His power for you to see. He is God and we are not. We can not question His ways because, like the end of Job says (and I love the smackdown God lays out), HE formed everything single thing and He if the Father of Time, Salvation, Redemption, etc. Living like a disciple/student/follower of Jesus is relatively simple. It really is. God's will is simply that we be OBEDIENT. He has told us how to love Him and others and what attitudes we should have and what kind of standards with which we should live. It's our job to apply that to any given circumstance, and share the beautiful news of Jesus in the process. He knows what you and I need to make it through a day whether it's a meal or gas money or strength or hope or faith or an encouraging word from a friend, He's got it. Maybe we should stop fighting the waves so hard and go rest with Him.