Testing the limits
As I sit here on the airplane praying through the weird noises and
shakes of this giant metal airbus and clinging to God's Word that begs
me to trust in HIS wings, our sweet nugget has moved into my right rib
cage. When I'm tempted to get caught up in the harried schedule of my
day, his firm kicks in my side remind me of the beauty of this earthly
life we've been given.
2012 for us has been full of joy and incredibly difficult and demanding schedules as we've tested the limits of our minds and bodies far too many times to count. It was brought to my attention by two dear friends of mine that we had not been inviting our community to share our burdens with us, but have been, in fact, trying to shoulder this load alone...which is NOT the way God intended or desired relationships to work, especially when it comes to this wonderful family of God! It was an unexpected release of tears and honesty with my friends that opened the door for some real intimacy to take place in these friendships. When I simply poured my heart out and stopped apologizing for the tears, the light of the Truth poured into my heart. My friends helped me to sort out some lies I was believing about myself, God, and relationships (for example, never asking someone for help because I feel like I have little to offer in exchange, believing that I have to clean myself up and earn God's favor, or not believing in the power and beauty of His love), and they told me the Truth. They told me it blesses them to be able to help me. They reminded me that God loves me just where I am. I am perhaps still being vague about these "hardships."
Jt and I have been putting in 16 hours work days easily and, sometimes, we don't see the fruit of our labor. I'd imagine that it feels like we've been farming for awhile and toiling at the ground waiting on the seeds to grow. It is hard work! The Lord dropped the perfect office space in our laps so we've been moving our business out of the house and trying to train our new employees - all baby prep so the business can run while I'm in labor. ;) It's been exhausting to say the least. These crazy days mean our "free time" is extremely limited to the exclusion of friends, family, and some church commitments. We are now on our way to a restful week on a lake house with Jt's family and are eager for our souls and bodies to find rest. The 16 hour work days will commence once we get home as we delegate more responsibility and eagerly prepare for our little one's arrival.
So, that is my heart. I'm weary, worn, tired, ready to cry at the drop of a hat, or sinfully snap at my husband, but thankful for this path He has us on and His unending forgiveness and grace. I know that my Father loves me just as I am and will never go anywhere. I'm glad that even in the midst of heavy, busy, impossible days, my soul can find rest in Him. I love my husband, my baby, my friends, and my family. God has used them to bless me and show me His love in this past week in such big ways. And I'm really thankful that I get to sleep in tomorrow.
Are you hiding your heart? Are you hiding your struggles from The One who sees them and can fix them? Go out on a limb. Be bold. Cry. Talk. Dare to know God and be known by Him.
2012 for us has been full of joy and incredibly difficult and demanding schedules as we've tested the limits of our minds and bodies far too many times to count. It was brought to my attention by two dear friends of mine that we had not been inviting our community to share our burdens with us, but have been, in fact, trying to shoulder this load alone...which is NOT the way God intended or desired relationships to work, especially when it comes to this wonderful family of God! It was an unexpected release of tears and honesty with my friends that opened the door for some real intimacy to take place in these friendships. When I simply poured my heart out and stopped apologizing for the tears, the light of the Truth poured into my heart. My friends helped me to sort out some lies I was believing about myself, God, and relationships (for example, never asking someone for help because I feel like I have little to offer in exchange, believing that I have to clean myself up and earn God's favor, or not believing in the power and beauty of His love), and they told me the Truth. They told me it blesses them to be able to help me. They reminded me that God loves me just where I am. I am perhaps still being vague about these "hardships."
Jt and I have been putting in 16 hours work days easily and, sometimes, we don't see the fruit of our labor. I'd imagine that it feels like we've been farming for awhile and toiling at the ground waiting on the seeds to grow. It is hard work! The Lord dropped the perfect office space in our laps so we've been moving our business out of the house and trying to train our new employees - all baby prep so the business can run while I'm in labor. ;) It's been exhausting to say the least. These crazy days mean our "free time" is extremely limited to the exclusion of friends, family, and some church commitments. We are now on our way to a restful week on a lake house with Jt's family and are eager for our souls and bodies to find rest. The 16 hour work days will commence once we get home as we delegate more responsibility and eagerly prepare for our little one's arrival.
So, that is my heart. I'm weary, worn, tired, ready to cry at the drop of a hat, or sinfully snap at my husband, but thankful for this path He has us on and His unending forgiveness and grace. I know that my Father loves me just as I am and will never go anywhere. I'm glad that even in the midst of heavy, busy, impossible days, my soul can find rest in Him. I love my husband, my baby, my friends, and my family. God has used them to bless me and show me His love in this past week in such big ways. And I'm really thankful that I get to sleep in tomorrow.
Are you hiding your heart? Are you hiding your struggles from The One who sees them and can fix them? Go out on a limb. Be bold. Cry. Talk. Dare to know God and be known by Him.
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