Cute as a Button

Nicky Alexandria Photography
Cash at 2 1/2 weeks

Thoughts from a new mom

*Does my baby smell my morning breath and process that it doesn't smell good?

*Got milk?  Oh, yea. lots of it.  But it doesn't make it to baby's mouth.  Nope.  It's served as a face wash, body wash, and shampoo for both Cash and I.  My "water works" combined with Cash's sprinkler has me re-thinking the brilliance of plastic covered couches, beds, etc.

I forgot whatever it was I wanted to blog about.  My sweet pea likes to graze throughout the day and then eat every 2 hours at night, so I am hardly functioning with normal things like eating, doing the dishes, or seeing the sunlight and breathing fresh air.  For the record, since delivery day, I have only missed TWO non-consecutive days of shaving my legs.  I know some of you were just waiting to see the demise of my OCD vanity, but my beauty standards remain!  For example, it is 4:45pm and I still have not had a chance to brush my teeth or shower , but before my husband gets home, I will shower, curl my hair, and put on makeup.  Though it might be late in the day, I will still cross those to do's off of my list.

That reminded me of what I wanted to share with you all.  So, yes, I've been excellent at making myself presentable to my husband every day - often at the expense of a nap or doing the dishes.  I've thought to myself, "What a great wife I am!  I won't let myself go.  He'll appreciate my effort."  Though this might be more for myself than him, in all honesty.  This is what a typical evening in our home looks like.  Husband comes home from work and offers me a forehead kiss as a peace offering for stealing Cash from my arms where he'll stay the rest of the night.  Usually, Husband will praise me with a "You're so beautiful, darlin'."  Don't we sound like such a perfect lovey-dovey little family?  We cozy up on the couch to watch "O' Reilly Factor" or "The Voice" and soon Jt hands off the baby so I can feed him.  Before long, I am asking my husband to hand me a drink or turn down the commercials and my invisible dragon is unleashed.  It probably looks something like this.

What I feel like I'm saying: "Sweetheart, would you please hand me my water?  I'm terribly thirsty."
What he probably hears: [with a loud shouting voice] "HAND ME MY WATER NOW! DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?"
What really happened: Husband was so focused on the tv that he honestly didn't hear me, so after requesting that he hand me my water, I sharply said, "Babe!  Water, please?"

These sharp moments are so wild to deal with.  I wasn't prepared for the CRAZIES that were going to inhabit this ever-changing body of mine.  I also realized how silly it was that I prepared my outward appearance for my husband, but totally neglected the state of my heart.  It doesn't matter if my mascara is perfectly applied and my curls softly fall around my face if I'm barking at my husband.  Yes, with these intense hormonal changes, it is incredibly difficult to respond softly and rationally as I normally would, but it's not an excuse (how I wish I could use excuses!).  I am grateful that I can have the fruits of the spirit no matter how I feel.  God can be my love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Nicky Alexandria Photography
October 28, 2012