Beating the Bullseye in 3 steps

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There is an epidemic in our country and it’s getting out of control.  No one is talking about it.  Not the media.  Not the news outlets.  It’s our codependency on Target.  Behind those bright red, shiny balls lies Mommyland!  (And that only applies to the Targets with Starbucks.  Did you know that you can get a cup holder for your cart??  I digress.)

I’m not kidding.  It really is like a Mommy theme park.  If we break it down, here’s what I really think happens.  We roam the aisles slowly and thoughtfully, breathing out the troubles of the day, taking a sip of that iced latte, then we breathe in the possibilities!  Oh, the abundance of possibilities!!  The possibilities of adorable new hand towels and trendy copper mugs.  The possibilities of clear-conscience BPA free water bottles for the family and organic fruit snacks that will be sure to make your little ones smile.  The possibilities of buying up the entire line of the spring collection of toddler girl clothes.  The possibilities of memory-making with friends over that grill you spotted on Clearance.  The possibilities are innumerable!  So you fill your cart with wishes, daydreams, and good intentions and make your way to the checkout.  As the friendly cashier makes small talk and you whip out your Cartwheel app in the hopes of saving at least $3 on this trip ,which will actually pay for your coffee (I mean really, I have only scored once or twice as far as good deals).   Your jaw drops as the cashier tells you your total.  “How did that happen?  I only came in here for a few things!” 

I’ll tell you how that happened.  Target secretly charges you an admission.  You think that stocking daydreams and providing roaming therapy is free??  They tack on a $100-150 general admission fee (or should we call it an exit fee?), you pay a little for your necessities (if you even remember them) and you walk away with a basketful of treasures.  And sometimes those treasures will become “outdated” or useless by next season and the whole cycle will start again.

But I beat the system!  It’s true!  Here are my three steps to beating the bullseye* with your wallet still in tact.

1. Set A Time Limit

My Target trips are often spent meandering the aisles pushing my 3 year old and wearing my 1 year old.  For this particular trip, a neighbor offered to take my 3 year old for a playdate with her sons and I committed to knocking out both Target and Trader Joe’s in two hours or less (crazy, right??).  I mean that’s including travel time of 10 minutes or so one way.  This helped me immensely to remain self-aware and on-guard.  The aisles would not tempt me with foolish daydreams today!

2. Go With A List

I also had a specific list of basics I needed to get.  Everybody talks about lists and I love lists, but I don’t stick to them strictly.  What fun is that?  My list became my financial armor.  It protected me from making some vulnerable decisions.  This trip would be both purposeful and successful.  This time was going to be different.  And it was!

3. Take The Opposite Path.

The best trick of all was suddenly so clear.  It was as though the fog of consumerism lifted and it dawned on me.  Run away from the path you so easily travel.  Don’t stay straight.  The women’s clothes seem safe (because let’s face it, I willingly choose maternity pants as non-pregnant woman), but will eventually lead you around the corner to the DUN DUN DUN…the baby and toddler booby trap (my personal weakness).  If you make it past that, there is the Maze of Tempting Toys and beyond that lies the Forest of Endless Groceries followed by the Happy Home Décor Web.  It’s dangerous, ladies!  We MUST look out for one another.   So here’s the plan.  Run past the dollar section.  Don’t blink.  Put those blinders up.  Okay, one quick glance, but your pace must be just as quick!  Then purpose in your heart to go the opposite direction of apparel.  Go straight for vitamins and dog food.  You will be safe there.  Once you accomplish a change in direction, the soaring feeling of pride in overcoming your first obstacles will give you the courage and confidence to soldier on to the next step.  Follow your list and take this path.  Wisdom will begin to dictate your steps back to checkout safely.

It work, guys. It absolutely works.  Did I still spend $102?  Yes, but my cart was full of boring essentials like breast pads, paper towels, and shaving cream.

It also helps to feel like a weak pile of garbage and be coming down with strep throat (and be 8 hours away from diagnosis).  Would you believe I accomplished Target AND Trader Joe’s in 1 hour and 40 minutes with my one year old in tow and a tired-Grandma shopping pace?

Together we can conquer our codependency on Target.  If you want to help fellow victims of consumer codependency, you can be a voice.  Share these three tips and together, we can reconcile marriages, fill wallets and college funds, and bring friends together.

*clever catchphrase credited to the one and only Jimmy Saldana on 1.15.16
See Jimmy and my ridiculously famous friend Summer on her YouTube channel here!