Open the Eyes of My Heart
I find myself expecting God to use people, things, and circumstances in very logical, fits-neatly-in-the-box ways which is silly because Isaiah 55 says His ways aren't like our ways at all.
I still wrestle with obediently following God and trusting the path He has called me, called us to. It is so far from what I had planned for this season of my life. I have felt discontent watching other women bask in the joys of motherhood (both biological and adoptive). I have watched as younger women have passionately pursued their dreams of music as I have helped contribute to their first albums while I dream of my own. I am watching friends buy their first homes and begin to plant roots - very grown up roots. My lifestyle of constant going to and fro and being amongst lots of people has now become me and 4 white walls, and my hubs. We are so very blessed, and I have not chosen the path of gratitude. I simply haven't asked God to change my heart either. I often wonder why the Lord chose me with my unique gifts and weaknesses to be a business owner. My list of weaknesses is LONG. (Or, perhaps they are undeveloped strengths. Never thought about that before. And, I'm not doubting that I have some giftings that are a great fit for this business.) Jt said that perhaps God wants me to overcome these things and THAT is why He has chosen this path for me. Me? Overcome? Claim the victory? It feels impossible.
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. " 1 Corinthians 1:27
"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am one of those foolish, weak things. Jesus Christ fills in the weak spots with more of Him and then He shines brightly. Then, my life becomes evidence of God working greatly through me. I can not brag or boast in the work that I've done because it was ALL Him! The Holy Spirit really touched my heart in an unexpected way yesterday. It came through the voice of a 10 year old angel and God just spoke to me about a few different things.
Christopher Duffley is a sweet 10 year old boy with a heart for Jesus. He is blind and autistic. His birth mother was on drugs when she carried Chris in her womb. The Duffley's adopted Christopher into their musical home. You can hear his story below. The voice of praise coming from this boy is so humbling and so powerful. The beauty of Christ is so real in the testimony of this little boy.
Now after watching that, do you really think that God can't use you or your circumstance?
You know what else Chris Duffley taught me? I've struggled with a lot of self-doubt not knowing where my voice fits in the music industry. Paralyzing unmotivating self-doubt. You know what? It doesn't matter where I think my voice fits or doesn't. The power of God was in the beautiful, pure voice of a 10 year old boy. It wasn't in the vocal acrobatics of Christina Aguilera. The power of God lives within me and HE will lead me in the right direction if I seek Him first.
I was humbled that this boy has such a heart of praise (and you can hear that in a voice, I swear) in spite of his physical challenges. I pray that God gives me a tender heart and opens the eyes of my heart to what He is doing even now in my life and how He is and can use me in the lives of others. The monotony in our daily lives, the ordinary-ness of our lives are extraordinary when God is working. He is the EPICness behind the scenes. Today isn't a boring ho-hum day. Only He knows how our stories and the great story of Jesus is playing out.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7
I still wrestle with obediently following God and trusting the path He has called me, called us to. It is so far from what I had planned for this season of my life. I have felt discontent watching other women bask in the joys of motherhood (both biological and adoptive). I have watched as younger women have passionately pursued their dreams of music as I have helped contribute to their first albums while I dream of my own. I am watching friends buy their first homes and begin to plant roots - very grown up roots. My lifestyle of constant going to and fro and being amongst lots of people has now become me and 4 white walls, and my hubs. We are so very blessed, and I have not chosen the path of gratitude. I simply haven't asked God to change my heart either. I often wonder why the Lord chose me with my unique gifts and weaknesses to be a business owner. My list of weaknesses is LONG. (Or, perhaps they are undeveloped strengths. Never thought about that before. And, I'm not doubting that I have some giftings that are a great fit for this business.) Jt said that perhaps God wants me to overcome these things and THAT is why He has chosen this path for me. Me? Overcome? Claim the victory? It feels impossible.
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. " 1 Corinthians 1:27
"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am one of those foolish, weak things. Jesus Christ fills in the weak spots with more of Him and then He shines brightly. Then, my life becomes evidence of God working greatly through me. I can not brag or boast in the work that I've done because it was ALL Him! The Holy Spirit really touched my heart in an unexpected way yesterday. It came through the voice of a 10 year old angel and God just spoke to me about a few different things.
Christopher Duffley is a sweet 10 year old boy with a heart for Jesus. He is blind and autistic. His birth mother was on drugs when she carried Chris in her womb. The Duffley's adopted Christopher into their musical home. You can hear his story below. The voice of praise coming from this boy is so humbling and so powerful. The beauty of Christ is so real in the testimony of this little boy.
Now after watching that, do you really think that God can't use you or your circumstance?
You know what else Chris Duffley taught me? I've struggled with a lot of self-doubt not knowing where my voice fits in the music industry. Paralyzing unmotivating self-doubt. You know what? It doesn't matter where I think my voice fits or doesn't. The power of God was in the beautiful, pure voice of a 10 year old boy. It wasn't in the vocal acrobatics of Christina Aguilera. The power of God lives within me and HE will lead me in the right direction if I seek Him first.
I was humbled that this boy has such a heart of praise (and you can hear that in a voice, I swear) in spite of his physical challenges. I pray that God gives me a tender heart and opens the eyes of my heart to what He is doing even now in my life and how He is and can use me in the lives of others. The monotony in our daily lives, the ordinary-ness of our lives are extraordinary when God is working. He is the EPICness behind the scenes. Today isn't a boring ho-hum day. Only He knows how our stories and the great story of Jesus is playing out.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7
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