We need to talk.
I think it's time we had a talk. Parents-to-be, I encourage you all to be thoughtful about how you answer a particular question that will inevitably come up in conversation.
You've announced the news that you are expecting a new family member in 9 months (or longer if you are adopting). Friends and family, and, yes, even strangers participate in your joy and are eager to hear all about your baby plans. Most every parent-to-be has given the default answer below.
"Congratulations! I'm so excited for you!" a friend exclaims.
"Thank you. We are thrilled!" the parent-to-be says.
"What are you hoping for first? A girl or a boy?"
And here it comes...
"We don't care, as long as it's healthy."
Let me stop you right there. Think long and hard about what that means. Do you really mean what you say? Mommies, Daddies, and Christians especially, please consider that this is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and testify of the precious little life that God has entrusted to you. What if your baby wasn't healthy? Then what? What you are saying is that if your baby weren't healthy, you would care a great deal. It's implied that an unhealthy baby is an unwanted and unloved baby, and I know you certainly didn't mean that.
My sweet 4 month old baby boy suddenly came down with RSV. He has been just pitiful and as his body fights off the virus, it breaks my heart to see him struggling to breathe and eat. By far, the worst thing about caring for a sick baby is the snot sucker. (I'm personally a fan of the Nosefrida.) The anger and fear bellowing in his tremendous cries break my heart to pieces, but it's worth it to know that for a short while, he will be able to breathe and eat. I was already a life-size burp rag when he was healthy thanks to his spitting up. Now, bearing the brunt of his sick sneezes, and literally sucking all of the mucus out of his nose combined with a blowout diaper here and there, is not how I dreamed motherhood to be. All of those body fluids....let's admit it...that's pretty gross. But it doesn't matter because I love him. I love my baby so much I'd do anything for him, and I can't imagine loving him any differently if he was born with special needs or a serious disease.
You see, I saw a mom a few days ago who was pushing her adult son in a wheelchair. It was evident that he had some developmental challenges & I instantly thought of how much that mom must love her son. It dawned on me that I love my son the same and it wouldn't matter if his body were made whole or broken, I'd still love that little boy with all of my heart.
What about the moving story of Dick and Rick Hoyt? Rick has spastic quadriplegic and cerebral palsy due to a shortage of oxygen at birth. Together they run over 1,000 marathons and triathlons. What great love this dad has for his son!
I'm sure many of you have seen the Facebook page Praying for Taylor. Can you imagine finding out your 1 1/2 year old has cancer?
Or 10 year old blind Christopher Duffley who has autism and was adopted to a loving family. Christopher's rendition of this worship song touches my soul to the depths!
Then there is my sweet 15 year old nephew, Eli, who has down's syndrome. Eli has such a HUGE, tender heart. This kid will volunteer to pray for the meal or group events and he will pray for every single person. If you drop something, he will pick it up. He has the sweetest smile ALWAYS. He loves Jesus. And he is about to do something incredible in a few weeks - climb Mt. Everest base camp! His mom and dad started The Elisha Foundation as an outreach to special needs kids and their families.
These are all some incredible kids with selfess, devoted, and loving parents. Do they wish their children were healthy and whole? I'm certain their answers would be YES! Does it matter that they are not? No.
Let me encourage you that the next time someone asks you, parent-to-be, what you are having, be thoughtful about your answer. If you were to find out that the baby inside your womb had some developmental complications, would it matter? If you claim to follow Jesus and believe in the sanctity of every life, no matter how young or old, then this is a non-issue. Undoubtedly, you will cry your tears of sorrow for the life you had dreamed for your little one, mourn the loss of some freedoms you were counting on when you and your hubby grow old and you are caring for your adult child, and mourn for your baby's unique challenges, but, in the end, that baby is going home in your arms. You will get to know one another and you'll fall in love. It might be a sudden blindsiding kind of love or it might be a slow-growing cautious love as you let your guard down.
We are not assured that our babies will be born with all their fingers and toes, with every system functioning as it ought, or that our babies are going to outlive us. Every day is truly a special day not to be taken for granted, and God is in every single moment.
So the next time someone says, "What are you hoping for first? A girl or a boy?" you can say something like this,
"I'd love a healthy little boy, but come what may, God is good and has given us a precious gift."
 |
| Me - courtesy of The Beautiful Mess |
"Congratulations! I'm so excited for you!" a friend exclaims.
"Thank you. We are thrilled!" the parent-to-be says.
"What are you hoping for first? A girl or a boy?"
And here it comes...
"We don't care, as long as it's healthy."
Let me stop you right there. Think long and hard about what that means. Do you really mean what you say? Mommies, Daddies, and Christians especially, please consider that this is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and testify of the precious little life that God has entrusted to you. What if your baby wasn't healthy? Then what? What you are saying is that if your baby weren't healthy, you would care a great deal. It's implied that an unhealthy baby is an unwanted and unloved baby, and I know you certainly didn't mean that.
My sweet 4 month old baby boy suddenly came down with RSV. He has been just pitiful and as his body fights off the virus, it breaks my heart to see him struggling to breathe and eat. By far, the worst thing about caring for a sick baby is the snot sucker. (I'm personally a fan of the Nosefrida.) The anger and fear bellowing in his tremendous cries break my heart to pieces, but it's worth it to know that for a short while, he will be able to breathe and eat. I was already a life-size burp rag when he was healthy thanks to his spitting up. Now, bearing the brunt of his sick sneezes, and literally sucking all of the mucus out of his nose combined with a blowout diaper here and there, is not how I dreamed motherhood to be. All of those body fluids....let's admit it...that's pretty gross. But it doesn't matter because I love him. I love my baby so much I'd do anything for him, and I can't imagine loving him any differently if he was born with special needs or a serious disease.
You see, I saw a mom a few days ago who was pushing her adult son in a wheelchair. It was evident that he had some developmental challenges & I instantly thought of how much that mom must love her son. It dawned on me that I love my son the same and it wouldn't matter if his body were made whole or broken, I'd still love that little boy with all of my heart.
What about the moving story of Dick and Rick Hoyt? Rick has spastic quadriplegic and cerebral palsy due to a shortage of oxygen at birth. Together they run over 1,000 marathons and triathlons. What great love this dad has for his son!
I'm sure many of you have seen the Facebook page Praying for Taylor. Can you imagine finding out your 1 1/2 year old has cancer?
Or 10 year old blind Christopher Duffley who has autism and was adopted to a loving family. Christopher's rendition of this worship song touches my soul to the depths!
Then there is my sweet 15 year old nephew, Eli, who has down's syndrome. Eli has such a HUGE, tender heart. This kid will volunteer to pray for the meal or group events and he will pray for every single person. If you drop something, he will pick it up. He has the sweetest smile ALWAYS. He loves Jesus. And he is about to do something incredible in a few weeks - climb Mt. Everest base camp! His mom and dad started The Elisha Foundation as an outreach to special needs kids and their families.
 |
| Elisha & my brother, Justin |
These are all some incredible kids with selfess, devoted, and loving parents. Do they wish their children were healthy and whole? I'm certain their answers would be YES! Does it matter that they are not? No.
Let me encourage you that the next time someone asks you, parent-to-be, what you are having, be thoughtful about your answer. If you were to find out that the baby inside your womb had some developmental complications, would it matter? If you claim to follow Jesus and believe in the sanctity of every life, no matter how young or old, then this is a non-issue. Undoubtedly, you will cry your tears of sorrow for the life you had dreamed for your little one, mourn the loss of some freedoms you were counting on when you and your hubby grow old and you are caring for your adult child, and mourn for your baby's unique challenges, but, in the end, that baby is going home in your arms. You will get to know one another and you'll fall in love. It might be a sudden blindsiding kind of love or it might be a slow-growing cautious love as you let your guard down.
We are not assured that our babies will be born with all their fingers and toes, with every system functioning as it ought, or that our babies are going to outlive us. Every day is truly a special day not to be taken for granted, and God is in every single moment.
So the next time someone says, "What are you hoping for first? A girl or a boy?" you can say something like this,
"I'd love a healthy little boy, but come what may, God is good and has given us a precious gift."
Comments
Post a Comment