Last Night's Performance

*This is my good friend Tim Yarbrough and me at Lestat's last night. It's THE BEST Open Mic in San Diego.*

STORIES BEHIND THE SONGS
Just Friends - I wrote this about 3 years ago. I dated a guy for 2 weeks and he quickly decided we should just be friends. He had never heard me sing, so after a few weeks passed, I invited him to the same Open Mic and debuted this song about him. The night ended and I never heard from him again. :)

Forever Yours - (my newest song) I've always loved the passage in Ruth where Ruth swears to Naomi her vow of loyalty. I've always wanted to incorporate the beauty of those words into my wedding somehow, and I found it made the perfect chorus. I finished this song 3 days before my wedding and surprised JT with it right before our vows. I wanted to write a song of faithfulness that was devoid of cliche "wedding-isms," a song that would translate to any season of life.




I've been saying that this year is THE year for me to pursue a music career and the Lord is SOO good to know me so well and what I need. I am naturally NOT a self-motivator. If someone can give me a plan, I am great tackling it and getting right to work. Creating it out of thin air, however, is overwhelming to the point of being paralyzed and never even trying. (For example, homeschooling was SO challenging for me because I didn't have the motivation of competition or fellow peers and was left to motivate myself.)

In addition to that, because of such a conservative upbringing, I convinced myself however consciously or subconsciously that to sing in church is good and right, but to pursue music outside the church would be prideful and morally dangerous. In believing this lie that I concocted, I have created a false idea of success, equating it with sin. God has given me music and expects me to become diligent with it and use it for His glory. Actions do not condemn me, the attitude of my heart does. Pursuing music is good and right if the motives of my heart are pure. Pursuing music is not good if my goal is self-ambition and praise instead of the ultimate glory of God.

Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31

I have FINALLY realized that I have been holding myself back from going after what I love. Before I even knew what concerts were as a little girl, my backyard would transform into a concert hall and soon twigs and stones became tickets and I'd seat all of my guests and get on stage (the steepest part of our enbankment) and I'd sing my heart out. I've always wanted to sing on stage! T.V. didn't tell me that. I hardly watched it as a child. It's always been something deep inside me. And I'm scared of it! My goodness, I am fearful. Of what, I'm not certain. I just know I feel fear and anticipation.

I had a great interview over the weekend with a lady from a local publication. She is writing an article on 5 different creative types and how they are making ends meet while pursuing their love of writing, dancing, etc. I am the sole musician in the article. This has been just the motivating factor I've needed and I am so thankful. I've already gone back into the studio with my producer and laid down a new track of which I can NOT wait to hear his arrangement. An E.P. (a mini-album) is in the works and I trust that it will be released by the time this article goes to print, so I'm hoping you will only have to wait 2 more months to get a hard copy of Abigail Lyn in your hands.

I have to say, too, that Justin Ryan Tanner is, besides Jesus, my rock. He has always believed big things for my music while I was buried in self-doubt and hopelessness. He pushes me when I need to get my butt in gear. He tells me the truth and not what I want to hear (you need more practice, talk less between songs, you were amazing, the crowd loved it). He is ALWAYS there, every performance, every competition. If not for JT, I would still be a wandering artist with a dream, but completely lost. God has used him to point out the path for me and give me a good heave-ho. I love you, babe. :)